The Edge

FREAK DU JOUR:
MORNING RITUAL TIME: 9:50 AM - Monday thru Friday



This Year's Freak du Jour:
MAY FREAK DU MONTH- "MAY-BE ITS DEAD, MAY-BE ITS MAY-BELINE"
Jessica May, a grad student of Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville (Chuck's alma mater), has been driving around to locate road kill. Her purpose? To dress the road kill in baby clothes and give each carcass makeup and nail polish! So far, May has given manicures to three raccoons, three possums and counting. She insists she's not an animal rights' activist, which, of course, begs the question: Then why the fu*k is she doing it?
FREAK POINTS: 9.25

APRIL FREAK DU MONTH- "THERE IS A WRONG WAY TO EAT A RHESUS"
Bobby Denton Crawford Jr. had his Rhesus Monkey, Darwin, confiscated by animal services after police found illegal animals in his home. Darwin was taken to the Living Materials Center, where Crawford visited three times and had left a handful of tear-filled phone calls for his monkey. On one such visit, Crawford handed a security officer a box of toys to give to Darwin. Among those toys was an audio tape player with a recorded message from Crawford addressed to Darwin that was sexual in nature. In fact, on the tape, Crawford made several references to Darwin and himself engaging in mutual stimulation. Ok, now that's just gross.
FREAK POINTS: 9.25 Audio Here

MARCH FREAK DU MONTH- MOTOR-HEAD
Mechanic Chris Donald loves cars. I mean, he really loves cars. In fact, Chris Donald loves cars so much, he has sex with them! The 38-year old says he suffers from a condition that makes him physically attracted to motors. He claims to have had sex with 30 different models of cars in the last 20 years, not to mention two motorboats and a Jetski. The dude even has a girlfriend, who doesn't seem to mind that HE HAS SEX WITH CARS!!
FREAK POINTS: 9.5 Audio :: Photo Here

FEBRUARY FREAK DU MONTH- TRASH DAVIS
With a name like Ann Ann Biglan, she's got to be a freak! Don't you think? Well, that's what we thought and, it turns out, we were right! According to police reports, when Ann Ann Biglan was involved in a car crash, officers discovered that her Ford Focus was filled with so much trash, it completely filled the inside, from the floor to the ceiling, front to the back. In fact, the trash is what caused the crash. Apparently, so much garbage spilled onto the driver's side floorboard, Biglan could no longer operate the brake. Her automobile proceeded to pick up speed, drove over a curb, across Route 28, hit a Ford Explorer, spun back over a sidewalk, struck a flower pot and came to rest in a nearby parking lot. She was not injured. probably saved by the trash. Hey, who needs airbags when your car's packed with fast-food bags and empty plastic bottles?
FREAK POINTS: 8 Audio :: Photo

JANUARY FREAK DU MONTH- Bausch & Dumb
A 40-year old Chinese man identified only as Mr. Liu didn't quite grasp the concept of caring for his contact lenses. Apparently, Liu didn't know you had to take them out to clean them. So, he didn't. Ever! In fact, Liu didn't take his contact lenses out of his eyes for an entire year. They actually grew into his eyes and surgery was needed to take them out. Now for the worst part. When Liu's eyesight began to suffer from the dirty lenses, he simply bought another pair and wore them on top of the old ones.
FREAK POINTS: 8.25 Audio